Having a Pregnant Wife

Amanda: Ok, I think I'm just hungry. Salad sounds amazing too. I think i could eat a cow and then sleep for a week straight.
Me: sounds like a great weekend
Amanda: Except its tuesday, we have a two year old, and we are broke.
Me: and we don't have a cow
Amanda: Golden coral does.

Delete Delete Delete

Delete, consolidate, delete... I was working on consolidating what had become some glaring discrepancies between my two portable hard drives, when I got into a delete frenzy and wiped out massive chunks of my last real digital stronghold. It seems like a waste of time, organizing information that I just wind up deleting later, but, as I've said before, it's a necessary process. I recognize that the time I'm spending holed up in a corner working on this little project are hours I'm not spending doing the things that are truly important to me. And perhaps it's really better just thrown out the window than salvaged. At the end of today, I have 28 gigs that I consider valuable, and a damaged hard drive.

It all comes down to a desire to be rid of all these... things. Is there such a thing as being the opposite of a hoarder? A compulsion to part with everything instead of saving it? Perhaps so.

Focus

Warning: This is a rambling post of introspection.

It seems to me like the most effective way to excel at anything in life is to focus on a single thing and do that one thing extremely well.  This is generally good advice in life.  If you are exceptional at any one thing, then you will always be welcome to do that thing wherever the job is needed, it would seem.  However, it doesn't always seem that cut and dry.  I have talent for programming and for music, and yet, I am required to do so many additional things throughout the day.  About half of my GIS job is non-programming work, which I have to do rather well to keep my job.  Outside of work, I commute by bicycle to reduce my financial burden on the family, and to keep in shape.  I also need to play with, discipline, and teach my child.  On top of all that, I also have a current interest in science and photography, and am working on digitizing my entire photo collection and moving it into the cloud for safekeeping.

While this seems like a great deal of diversity, I am under the impression that mine is a fairly simple life compared to my peers!  Is it really possible to be focused on a single task?  I realize that my life on this planet is only useful where it crosses the paths of others, and I want to do what I can to maximize my benefit to the world.  Rhonda Byrne said something like "all you have to do is feel good, and in the end, isn't that all you really want?"  Maybe she's right, and my own opinion of what makes me feel good is to do something that benefits others.  But it would seem like a reasonable statement that one is more beneficial as say, a spectacular musician, than as a good musiciand and good photographer.  And certainly taking time away from those tasks to watch TV or listen to a podcast is detrimental... isn't it?  But those daliances are what make us unique, I think.  And if you take away too many of the side trips, you lose the true purpose of life, which isn't to necessarily be the best at something, but to have great skill and a unique approach.  For the arts, at least.  But even for programmers, many can do something correctly, but only a few can do it with great efficiency or speed or mass appeal, or with whatever unique little quirk is needed at the time.

I had a conversation the other day where I recounted the tale of the blackboard in the sky, upon which was written the true destiny of any one person, and how it likely doesn't exist.  Sometimes I really wish it did.  I wish someone would pull me aside any tell me what it is I should do, but really, that is just my follower's nature coming out.  To some extent, I am meant to be a follower, to create for others, but I won't lose sight of the truth that I am to create something unique, even if it is for someone else.  After all, if it is only for myself, what use does it have?

I end my thoughts in a greater state of confusion and uncertainty.  

Diets and Bicycle Dollars

So, I've been overweight for quite some time, and, yet again, I'm taking another shot at this problem.  There are so many diet techniques, and many of them actually work, but it requires a great deal of discipline.  It's frustrating that I consider myself to be well disciplined, but I have so much trouble dieting; is diet something special, or does one have to train discipline in multiple areas?  Whatever the case, I'm sitting here drinking water instead of tea, wanting very much to eat, but out of snacks.  My problem is that I have so many problems, you know?  I have to work on cutting out the sweets, portion control, the long view, and healthy eating all at once.  Of course, the long view technique may handle all the problems in one fell swoop, since the best thing for me to do right now is stop feeding myself, as I have plenty of fat stores :)  Aaaanyway...

I'm also working on a concept that I like to call Bicycle Dollars.  The ulterior motive for biking to work is to eliminate a vehicle, and the costs associated with it.  There are many estimates for the approximate costs of owning a car, but my favorite is a general cost-per-mile.  The cost of owning a sedan driven 20,000 miles a year is 35 cents a mile, so I am giving myself 25 cents for every commuter mile in Bicycle Dollars.  Commuter miles are defined as miles spent traveling to any location that I would need a car to get to; this excludes joyriding, but includes pretty much everything else.  With a 17 mile total commute every work day, I would be generating $4.25 per day in Bicycle Dollars.  Assuming I travel a significant number of my days by bicycle, I would generate $1000 per year, which would justify the purchase of various pieces of essential gear for greater pursuits, such as winter riding, or a motor for long-distance trips.  I imagine once I equip the motor, my range will be greatly increased, but that represents a substantial cost from what I've seen, and also greatly increases the risk of theft.  I have a lot of decisions to make there, but if I only spend what I've "saved" from not driving a car, I shouldn't put any hardship on the family.

I am looking forward to my biking future, but not my food future :(  I'm sure I'll adjust soon enough, but right now, I just want a sammich!

Excellent Progress

Since my last post, I have reduced my possessions to am impressive (for me) 132!  I still intend to get rid of the last 32 to reach the 100-item goal, but I am at the point where I am making noticeable difficulties for myself when I reduce (example: lugging one deodorant stick around instead of having it in two locations), and I think I need to take a little more time to settle with the changes I've made before I move forward with additional ones.

Now that I've reduced things to an even more managable level (than 220), I can attempt to categorize it all:

Biking - 5

Work - 14

Clothing - 60

Music - 12

Books - 3

Decorations - 6

Always with me - 5

Backpack - 10

Exercise - 1

Grooming - 4

Misc - 5

Most notable, of course, is that nearly half of my possessions file under "clothing", and this is after quite a bit of paring down and eliminating redundant items.  Our family picked up an extra laundry day per week, which should help with this, but only time will tell if I can actually live without the extra clothes.

Replacement Bag

I'm killing a little time while I wait for Mandy to pick me up today (I'm not feeling well, so I'm leaving work early).  After spending an hour researching bicycle pannier bags on the internet, I decided that I am not willing to make a decision on them yet, as the ones I want represent a significant increase in cost.  However, there was a slight bonus to this whole situation that I didn't realize.  When I bought the new bag, I also had to upgrade the rear rack to something with support bars to handle the pannier.  When I removed the damaged pannier, I discovered that I had plenty of leverage to bungie my backpack to the rear rack, eliminating the need for a special bag entirely.  So I think I will deal without the pannier bag for now, and I just may upgrade to a nicer backpack instead, since it can serve as a backpack and bicycle bag all in one.  If I can use the new bag as a carry-on luggage, then I really have a multipurpose product, which becomes more important in my 100 Things quest.

As a quick aside, I am down to 220 possessions now, without any real teeth-pulling.  I just got rid of some more things that were really unnecessary, and consolidated things, like combining my three pairs of fingernail clippers into one pair that I carry with me.

Now it's time for me to pack up and get some rest.

Good Lord, it's hot!

So I should be working on music for this week's service, but it's so impossibly hot, even inside, that I'm not going anywhere near the non-air-conditioned gym. Instead, I'm sitting upstairs letting my body slowly cool back to normal, and theoretically internet shopping, although so far I've just been talking with Mandy and writing this.

I decided to bike to the eye doctor today, which is only 10 miles from Moraine. I even accounted for the fact that it was going to be hotter than Hades. What I didn't account for, however, was the fact that Alex Bell starts to get hilly the closer to get to 675, and by hilly, I mean VERY hilly. So I arrived to my doctor's appointment five minutes late and completely covered in sweat, but slightly amused at my folly. My wife didn't even believe I made it that far; when I told her, she thought I was mistaken about where I was :)

So we packed up the bike and drove me home after that. Unfortunately, my brand new pannier bike seat ripped a hook after my first day with it, so I'm definitely refunding that purchase ASAP. A coworker mentioned one on Amazon that clips on and slides off the rear rack easily, so hopefully that doesn't cost too much, and I can go buy that now :)

On the 100 Things front, I tossed out a couple things at work, and am down to 239 now. I still intend to look into some obvious questions, like what Pyro mentioned, things like whether or not underwear counts as a possession :) The risk in exempting anything is allowing that thing to grow disproportionately large, like a CD collection or something.

So, now I'm off to shop for bluetooth headphones and pannier bags, and probably wind up buying nothing!

From 260 to...

Today, I parted with:

• My Representative DeMolay certificate and my framed ritual books. I have my RD pin and gavel to remember them by.
• An original Star Wars record, framed. It's not worth much, and I've never been a huge fan of Star Wars anyway.
• My Most Outstanding Musical Squad award for marching band. It was homemade by my squad leader anyway, and half the decorations had fallen off :)
• One of my two Dayton Dragons hats; no point having two of those, and I never wear hats anyway. This brings my hat collection to one.
• Two of my three bandanas. I never wear bandanas anymore anyway, so no loss there.
• A Carnival Ship on a Stick, an award from winning a game on board. I wouldn't take the award back on the ship, so there's no point keeping it. And I also have a medal from a speed sliding competition that I will take back, so there is still something memorable to hang onto there.
• One of my two glasses cleaning kits; I am moving away from glasses, so their use is limited now.
• A cell phone case. Never use it.
• One of my two swiss army knives. I got my nicer one as a gift from Grandpa Kruse, and I only use that in a real bind, so having a second one is rather silly.

These departures, and a few clerical errors (of which I am sure there will be more in the next couple weeks as I continue to correct bad numbers or things I have forgotten) bring my new total to 243. Significant progress, yet still far more to go.

Contentment / Complacency

I scanned about 100 pictures into Picasa, dated them where possible, and sent them into the cloud for later categorization. I still have another couple hundred to go, it looks like, so I threw that into what has become my "working drawer" of the spare dresser in our gym. While I have many projects that I have been spending time with, among them reading several books, cleaning our shared space, and digitizing pictures, it is nice to NOT feel the rush of having to get everything done at once.

There is a level of comfort that I have not experienced in the past, which I suppose some may call complacency, and perhaps they are right. My friend referred to me yesterday as having "everything I want", which was both interesting and flattering, as I had never been mentioned in such a manner before. It reminds me of something that I have both read and thought on my own in the past: having everything and wanting nothing are very similar states of being. Unfortunately for the man who wants everything, something will always be denied him. When he finds one love, another will appear, more forbidden and equally as tempting. When he acquires some large possession, such as a house or a car, he will only see larger, more comfortable ones that do not belong to him. While a person who wants everything might surely be happy if he attains everything, that possibility is virtually impossible.

On the flip side, wanting nothing (or little) is much simpler than having everything (or much). There is less to manage, less to lose or destroy by some freak accident. One is much more mobile when every desire is in easy reach. I suppose I could walk along that train of thought for quite some time, but all the arguments are fairly obvious. I state again for the record: in all my experience of parting with possessions and unrealistic goals, I have not felt a lingering loss, aside from the temporary pain of having initially severed them from my life. I am "lighter", happier, and in generally better condition for having removed the physical and emotional baggage from my life. I am rather enjoying the ability to choose my direction each day without a pressing fear of the unknown future.

That said, I am losing my concentration as I notice Adelia stirring in her crib from the baby cam; time to wake her up and go play in the kiddie pool :)

100 Thing Challenge - It has begun!

Ever since I first saw the 100 Thing Challenge years ago, I have wanted to give it a try, but when I first saw it, the concept was preposterous. I had over 100 things in the nearest box of mementos, of which I had five, not to mention the rest of my things strewn between my mother's house, my apartment, and the office. After several years of effort and a great deal of Freecycle listings and trips to Goodwill, I have finally been able to take the first official step -- I managed to inventory every single personal possession I own!

The keyword above is "personal", because when there is a family involved, the concept would quickly become murky if I had to count my wife's possessions and things that we shared. I personally think the challenge is simpler for someone like myself, since I don't have to count things like furniture or televisions, although my household is constantly in the process of paring our shared possessions as well.

But I digress. There are many rule variants out there, but here are mine:

• Only my personal possessions count
• I may declare anything a "set", to count as a single item, using discretion

So far I have made no real exemptions, but the usage of sets can always be murky, so I am trying to use the designation sparingly. So, my first tally, which will probably require some recategorization, is 260. This means, of course, that I will need to reduce another 61% of my already reduced possessions to reach the arbitrary goal. However, I do intend to consult with some of the other people who have been doing this for a while to see if some of my ideals are misguided. For example, I am counting each pair of socks and every pair of underwear as a single possession; those two alone, accounting for winter socks, adds up to 33 by themselves! I also have tried to be as diligent as possible with my accounts, but the next couple weeks will show if I missed anything obvious in my tallies. For example, while writing this post, I added two things that I keep in the car at all times and forgot about.

So, wish me luck! I have no deadline on when I would like to finish this project, but it begins NOW!